This was right on time. I haven't been feeling myself for years, but even more so over the last few months to now. I've also been feeling stuck in therapy and this really helped convey what I already was beginning to realize at my last therapy appointment- I'm right where I'm supposed to be despite the protests from the managers inside of me. I have actually been working on IFS with my LCSW and it is going soooo slow. We had to take a break from EMDR because my physical symptoms and brain fog are too overpowering, in therapy and out of therapy. I really appreciate the dinner table analogy. That gives me another really good visualization when I have to tell a part that it doesn't have to be at the head of the table and can even be heard and seen better from the sides of the table despite not having to carry as much responsibility.
I'm so glad to hear this gave you a new, inviting and gentle image to welcome your whole self. And I'm so glad you are taking it slow with EMDR, respecting your nervous system's needs for regulation. Keep doing the slow, good work! It is worth it. So worth it.
Yes! EMDR can be a bit overwhelming. You might want to ask your therapist about polyvagal theory (or do some sleuthing yourself too) so that you can get to know your nervous system and her needs a bit more. Gentleness and awareness of how we're doing *as we process in therapy* is key.
I spent a year discussing my history/ themes/ triggers/ timeline with my therapist to prep for EMDR but once we got on the EMDR train I hit a wall. I find IFS can be taxing as well but personally I feel a little more present when practicing IFS than in talk therapy. I like the structure of IFS. It gives me more direction and helps me to prioritize separate 'parts' based on their needs at a given time. I'm still trying to figure out how to navigate therapy with really intense symptoms. I hope to someday get back to EMDR but I understand your hesitation. Perhaps the hesitation is just your body telling you it might be time to step back from it for a minute. I have several tools in my toolbox that I'm not quite ready for, but hope to use in the future. The 'fix it' part of me wants to pull them all out right now but the 'sick' part is very adamant in wanting me to slow down. I think just showing up (to therapy or in a journal or whatever) is a huge show of strength and courage to yourself and all of your parts, even if you're not sure what those parts are.
Thank you for writing this. I have to invite the exiles to the table, the managers alone cannot heal me and the firefighters are exhausted. Christ at the head of the table!
I can relate to your words in this post. I’m glad u didn’t listen to anxiety and not write. You r a great writer. I have your book on Audible so I listen over and over. Living with a NHLymphoma diagnosis and low immune system sets the stage for anxiety so many days. Even tho in remission my immunity still compromised so I’m alone 98%of the time.
I’m so thankful for writings like yours that help me gain perspective again when I’m in the muck and mire of life not being what I thought it would at age 73... yet I’m so thankful that I’m able to do things and take care of my home...be it ever so slowly.
I'm absolutely honored you listen to This Too Shall Last over and over! What a gift that is for me to hear! Grateful you are here and are approaching yourself with kindness.
Wow Thank you! This was so powerful to me and especially today as I finished my first weekend of Level 1 IFS training and my parts have been intensely effected. Thank you for the reminder that we simply (and it doesn't always feel so simple) have to join Christ at the table. All are welcome and can come as they are. Thank you for being a blessing. Lori
Thank you for your words. I have often felt “not myself” this year. I have often felt like the me of 2019 had burned to the ground and I don’t even recognize 2020 me.
I am new to your community, so this is the first post I've read, and I recently started your book. What a delight that you shared about IFS - in your beautiful and vulnerable prose. I'm a therapist who uses IFS (Kimberly and I attended the same Level 1 training!). I launched a book this fall integrating IFS and Christianity. One aspect of the book is to use the model to explore our response to physical and mental illness (among other challenges such as loss, betrayal, and addiction). I had to negotiate with some parts before sending this note, but I suspect you will understand the desire to get one's work into the world. https://mollylacroix.com/ Thank you for all you are doing.
I'm really late to this, just subscribed to the newsletter this past week. But it came at just the right time. I recently (2 months ago) started therapy and we have been working on IFS in our last couple of sessions. It's honestly been so hard and every time it felt like my managers voices were so loud.
This week I was given the homework of doing some IFS work through journaling and I was feeling overwhelmed by the thought of it. As I sat down to look for the email from my therapist with the homework, the Embodied email caught my attention. Something (or maybe Someone) told me to open it up and read it. And it was exactly what I needed to read and be reminded of now!
So thank you for writing and sharing this. It came at just the right time for me, 2 months later :)
What a rhema word this is for me. Right before reading this, my eyes blinked back tears of just overwhelm. But afterwards, I feel empowered. Now I have a road map to follow. I can bring all the parts of myself to the table, to see Christ at the head, and to ask my pain to tell its story. Thank you so much for sharing your heart.
"My 31-year-old self still fears being overlooked by parents who had bigger things to focus on. There, with fear’s story told, I felt the friendship of Christ. In his gaze, I started to breathe easier, believing I’m never overlooked. The words I write don’t need to be exceptional to hold his attention; he’s pleased with me just because I’m here and his."
Thank you KJ for not giving into the anxiety. This article and just about everything you write is resonating with me, your book, articles and Instagram posts. I’ve sat with my exiled self and listened to my body remind me of my 12 year old self and sone deep pain that needed Jesus to merit me in. Thank you ❤️🙏
This was right on time. I haven't been feeling myself for years, but even more so over the last few months to now. I've also been feeling stuck in therapy and this really helped convey what I already was beginning to realize at my last therapy appointment- I'm right where I'm supposed to be despite the protests from the managers inside of me. I have actually been working on IFS with my LCSW and it is going soooo slow. We had to take a break from EMDR because my physical symptoms and brain fog are too overpowering, in therapy and out of therapy. I really appreciate the dinner table analogy. That gives me another really good visualization when I have to tell a part that it doesn't have to be at the head of the table and can even be heard and seen better from the sides of the table despite not having to carry as much responsibility.
I'm so glad to hear this gave you a new, inviting and gentle image to welcome your whole self. And I'm so glad you are taking it slow with EMDR, respecting your nervous system's needs for regulation. Keep doing the slow, good work! It is worth it. So worth it.
Yes! EMDR can be a bit overwhelming. You might want to ask your therapist about polyvagal theory (or do some sleuthing yourself too) so that you can get to know your nervous system and her needs a bit more. Gentleness and awareness of how we're doing *as we process in therapy* is key.
I spent a year discussing my history/ themes/ triggers/ timeline with my therapist to prep for EMDR but once we got on the EMDR train I hit a wall. I find IFS can be taxing as well but personally I feel a little more present when practicing IFS than in talk therapy. I like the structure of IFS. It gives me more direction and helps me to prioritize separate 'parts' based on their needs at a given time. I'm still trying to figure out how to navigate therapy with really intense symptoms. I hope to someday get back to EMDR but I understand your hesitation. Perhaps the hesitation is just your body telling you it might be time to step back from it for a minute. I have several tools in my toolbox that I'm not quite ready for, but hope to use in the future. The 'fix it' part of me wants to pull them all out right now but the 'sick' part is very adamant in wanting me to slow down. I think just showing up (to therapy or in a journal or whatever) is a huge show of strength and courage to yourself and all of your parts, even if you're not sure what those parts are.
Thank you for writing this. I have to invite the exiles to the table, the managers alone cannot heal me and the firefighters are exhausted. Christ at the head of the table!
Amen!
I can relate to your words in this post. I’m glad u didn’t listen to anxiety and not write. You r a great writer. I have your book on Audible so I listen over and over. Living with a NHLymphoma diagnosis and low immune system sets the stage for anxiety so many days. Even tho in remission my immunity still compromised so I’m alone 98%of the time.
I’m so thankful for writings like yours that help me gain perspective again when I’m in the muck and mire of life not being what I thought it would at age 73... yet I’m so thankful that I’m able to do things and take care of my home...be it ever so slowly.
I'm absolutely honored you listen to This Too Shall Last over and over! What a gift that is for me to hear! Grateful you are here and are approaching yourself with kindness.
Wow Thank you! This was so powerful to me and especially today as I finished my first weekend of Level 1 IFS training and my parts have been intensely effected. Thank you for the reminder that we simply (and it doesn't always feel so simple) have to join Christ at the table. All are welcome and can come as they are. Thank you for being a blessing. Lori
I'm so glad this resonated with you and what you needed even after a long weekend of exploring your parts! :) That's wonderful to hear!
Thank you for your words. I have often felt “not myself” this year. I have often felt like the me of 2019 had burned to the ground and I don’t even recognize 2020 me.
Faith, me too. Me too. You might really be encouraged by this sermon, to ponder how God might be shaping you in this season. I can't stop thinking about it: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bridgetown-audio-podcast/id84246334?i=1000492740340
From my shadowed self to you, thank you for this.
You are so welcome, Baylee. Really glad this encouraged you.
I am new to your community, so this is the first post I've read, and I recently started your book. What a delight that you shared about IFS - in your beautiful and vulnerable prose. I'm a therapist who uses IFS (Kimberly and I attended the same Level 1 training!). I launched a book this fall integrating IFS and Christianity. One aspect of the book is to use the model to explore our response to physical and mental illness (among other challenges such as loss, betrayal, and addiction). I had to negotiate with some parts before sending this note, but I suspect you will understand the desire to get one's work into the world. https://mollylacroix.com/ Thank you for all you are doing.
I'm really late to this, just subscribed to the newsletter this past week. But it came at just the right time. I recently (2 months ago) started therapy and we have been working on IFS in our last couple of sessions. It's honestly been so hard and every time it felt like my managers voices were so loud.
This week I was given the homework of doing some IFS work through journaling and I was feeling overwhelmed by the thought of it. As I sat down to look for the email from my therapist with the homework, the Embodied email caught my attention. Something (or maybe Someone) told me to open it up and read it. And it was exactly what I needed to read and be reminded of now!
So thank you for writing and sharing this. It came at just the right time for me, 2 months later :)
What a rhema word this is for me. Right before reading this, my eyes blinked back tears of just overwhelm. But afterwards, I feel empowered. Now I have a road map to follow. I can bring all the parts of myself to the table, to see Christ at the head, and to ask my pain to tell its story. Thank you so much for sharing your heart.
"My 31-year-old self still fears being overlooked by parents who had bigger things to focus on. There, with fear’s story told, I felt the friendship of Christ. In his gaze, I started to breathe easier, believing I’m never overlooked. The words I write don’t need to be exceptional to hold his attention; he’s pleased with me just because I’m here and his."
Oh yes! Thank you for this.
Thank you KJ for not giving into the anxiety. This article and just about everything you write is resonating with me, your book, articles and Instagram posts. I’ve sat with my exiled self and listened to my body remind me of my 12 year old self and sone deep pain that needed Jesus to merit me in. Thank you ❤️🙏