Wow, this is an incredibly beautiful, vulnerable and powerful post. I feel like you must be a fly on the wall in my little apartment watching as I tried to contain all the pain in my body and it's not a big enough container. There's nothing quite like feeling like someone's reading your mail. Thank you for giving me permission to let the pain live outside my body and see it as seeds that can eventually Bloom into beauty. It's very hard for me to be gentle with myself and allow such a thing but I think it's absolutely necessary. As I've watched your posts on social media the last few days and now read this I I'm beginning to wonder if God is trying to get my attention in this area. I'm hoping I can find a safe space for this pain so that I don't have to keep it contained within me. Trauma and disability are hard and when you combine the two it almost feels unbearable. Thanks so much for your beautiful words. I'm praying for you as you continue to heal. I'm so thankful that God is slowly restoring you and that you are willing to continue to be vulnerable and share your journey with us. May the peace of Christ fill every corner of your heart even as it continues to ache.
I just came back from my counseling session about an hour ago and what you said about needing a bigger container for my pain than just my own body rang so true, especially as I told a story about my past to my counselor. This particular story is one I’ve told many times, but I always told it in its most rosy iterations and always kind of side swept the darker sides of it because it meant the lighter sides weren’t true. I needed my counselor to bear witness to those hard parts of that story, and we’re going to dive into it more in future sessions. Eventually, I’m going to have to share it with some closer friends and I’m sure I’m going to need them to hold me as I retell it - as much as I don’t love this phrase, MY truth about it. THE truth.
My story can’t be swept under the rug.
It needs a boundary bigger than itself to hold the pain of this story.
Thank you for your insight. Thank you for helping me to let go. 🩷
I cried through reading this whole thing. 2 years ago, God gave me Ps 126 when some deep losses began to leave and enter my life. I'm beginning to wonder for myself that perhaps if my tears sow seeds, then maybe this valley place, this garden, is the land where I settle and befriend faithfulness. Thank you for sharing.
Oh and one more thing, that picture you took where you’re standing tall with your cane over your garden...that absolutely cut me to my core in the most beautiful way and it’s such a prophetic picture of what true resurrection looks like. 😭🩷🌻
I hope Katie reads every comment here.... KATIE, I want to HUG YOU. Thank you for giving so generously so KJ has beauty right in her own garden. 💛💛💛😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏
Blessings on you , your group, Kate and those beautiful. flowers. I hope you speak to them because they bloomed for you and are gifting you their beauty. I hope you and your friends also read " The Myth of Normal " written by Dr. Gabor and Daniel Maté. This book may not be what all of you need. This book shows all the research demonstrating that moist of the common illnesses we all endure have a component of un recognized and unhealed suffering or trauma. Until now although I am Christian and love all the inspiration, in my experience my beloved RC family members, friends and mentors are useless at teaching self-compassion and self-kindness. I have had to begin to leatn these from wonderful Buddhists , Jewish and Qigong teachers. Then again Jesus was a Rabbi and He taught us to rest......... Rest and Be Stiill, Thank you so so much for this wonderful sharing. Blessings of Advent.
Wow. Crying (and I’m gonna try not apologize for it). This flower story and metaphor is so abundant. Thank you for inviting me/us to not hide away in our pain. Permission to be fully human.
Thank you for this KJ. I give thanks for each time you write. I can't get past the fear of post covid fear of going out to public places out of fear of the autoimmune diseases which have many manifistations in this body but missing out on the healing of anxiety and sadness of staying isolated. I have of course worn A mask and took the latest vaccine. I was septic in the hospital at the beginning of covid alone and I can't get past that medical trauma. Your books give me great solace and hope . there are so many things that you have given to us through your writing and it's just plain joy. You are in my prayers everyday for continuing recovery. Your strength is stronger than mine. You are God given in so many ways. With love and enormous hug to hold you as surely you are held by the Lord🙏🙏💜💜
Wow, this is an incredibly beautiful, vulnerable and powerful post. I feel like you must be a fly on the wall in my little apartment watching as I tried to contain all the pain in my body and it's not a big enough container. There's nothing quite like feeling like someone's reading your mail. Thank you for giving me permission to let the pain live outside my body and see it as seeds that can eventually Bloom into beauty. It's very hard for me to be gentle with myself and allow such a thing but I think it's absolutely necessary. As I've watched your posts on social media the last few days and now read this I I'm beginning to wonder if God is trying to get my attention in this area. I'm hoping I can find a safe space for this pain so that I don't have to keep it contained within me. Trauma and disability are hard and when you combine the two it almost feels unbearable. Thanks so much for your beautiful words. I'm praying for you as you continue to heal. I'm so thankful that God is slowly restoring you and that you are willing to continue to be vulnerable and share your journey with us. May the peace of Christ fill every corner of your heart even as it continues to ache.
I just came back from my counseling session about an hour ago and what you said about needing a bigger container for my pain than just my own body rang so true, especially as I told a story about my past to my counselor. This particular story is one I’ve told many times, but I always told it in its most rosy iterations and always kind of side swept the darker sides of it because it meant the lighter sides weren’t true. I needed my counselor to bear witness to those hard parts of that story, and we’re going to dive into it more in future sessions. Eventually, I’m going to have to share it with some closer friends and I’m sure I’m going to need them to hold me as I retell it - as much as I don’t love this phrase, MY truth about it. THE truth.
My story can’t be swept under the rug.
It needs a boundary bigger than itself to hold the pain of this story.
Thank you for your insight. Thank you for helping me to let go. 🩷
Once again, thank you for being you, as you are. It brings life.
I cried through reading this whole thing. 2 years ago, God gave me Ps 126 when some deep losses began to leave and enter my life. I'm beginning to wonder for myself that perhaps if my tears sow seeds, then maybe this valley place, this garden, is the land where I settle and befriend faithfulness. Thank you for sharing.
Oh and one more thing, that picture you took where you’re standing tall with your cane over your garden...that absolutely cut me to my core in the most beautiful way and it’s such a prophetic picture of what true resurrection looks like. 😭🩷🌻
This is beautiful, KJ, thank you for sharing.
I hope Katie reads every comment here.... KATIE, I want to HUG YOU. Thank you for giving so generously so KJ has beauty right in her own garden. 💛💛💛😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏
Blessings on you , your group, Kate and those beautiful. flowers. I hope you speak to them because they bloomed for you and are gifting you their beauty. I hope you and your friends also read " The Myth of Normal " written by Dr. Gabor and Daniel Maté. This book may not be what all of you need. This book shows all the research demonstrating that moist of the common illnesses we all endure have a component of un recognized and unhealed suffering or trauma. Until now although I am Christian and love all the inspiration, in my experience my beloved RC family members, friends and mentors are useless at teaching self-compassion and self-kindness. I have had to begin to leatn these from wonderful Buddhists , Jewish and Qigong teachers. Then again Jesus was a Rabbi and He taught us to rest......... Rest and Be Stiill, Thank you so so much for this wonderful sharing. Blessings of Advent.
Thank you. You get it. I’m looking forward to reading about how.
Wow. Crying (and I’m gonna try not apologize for it). This flower story and metaphor is so abundant. Thank you for inviting me/us to not hide away in our pain. Permission to be fully human.
"I am learning to trust my tears are seeds." So good.
Kj your writing fills me!!! Your pain, tears stories about flowers....get to my heart and I feel closer to the divine
You will heal in Jesus' name! God bless you!
https://liborsoural.substack.com/p/painting-ya-peeling-me-like-a-tapestry
Thank you for this KJ. I give thanks for each time you write. I can't get past the fear of post covid fear of going out to public places out of fear of the autoimmune diseases which have many manifistations in this body but missing out on the healing of anxiety and sadness of staying isolated. I have of course worn A mask and took the latest vaccine. I was septic in the hospital at the beginning of covid alone and I can't get past that medical trauma. Your books give me great solace and hope . there are so many things that you have given to us through your writing and it's just plain joy. You are in my prayers everyday for continuing recovery. Your strength is stronger than mine. You are God given in so many ways. With love and enormous hug to hold you as surely you are held by the Lord🙏🙏💜💜