Thank you for this KJ. Thank you for your raw honesty. The truth is, you’ve said what a lot of people feel too afraid to voice - thinking that they must be alone in these thoughts - and so this is powerful. I’m sure it feels the opposite, but rest assured, there is a lot of power in your words here.
This level of suffering feels cruel. I am weeping for you, although I cannot even begun to fathom what it’s like to experience this in your body. There are no words that do your pain justice. I’m so sorry KJ. I’m just so sorry.
Also: I am one of those people happy to subscribe just to support you, even if you don’t ever write another thing. Your writing has had an immeasurable impact on me, but first and foremost, you are a human and I care about you. Your output has nothing to do with how much you are worth being cared for. ❤️
“I don’t have to suffer well to be loved.” So true. I’ve fallen into this belief SO many times. Thank you for your words. Praying for you to continue to feel deeply loved and seen.
KJ I want you to know how much I wish away your fears and know you are in my heart today and everyday filled with prayers for this awful reality of this week. Praying that your recovery will go well and that you are held by the Lord. When you can't pray we will for you. Lament is holy. You are so loved🙏🙏
God, I love your honesty. You don’t owe us anything but I’m so grateful you’re still choosing to show up for us and for yourself in your writing. Especially grateful for you to name the whole Capitalistic angle on healing. Man. Spot-on.
I’s so sorry things SUCK right now. I hate this level of suffering for you. How debilitating. How nauseating (literally). It’s okay that you feel hopeless and over it and pissed. Let us hope for you. May you receive the gift of being loved and led and lightened by people who can carry you along. Much love to you. Grateful for your life all around.
Praying for you and just subscribed to say you aren’t alone. And what you write and feel in your suffering is profound. You are beautifully honest, and this is horribly unfair. I wish it wasn’t this way for you, but even in it, your words pierce my heart because I have been there, too, in my own illness. God bless you!! Keep holding on. You are loved. You are seen. You are held. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 Thank you for blessing us with your words.
KJ: Your honesty and truth is a much needed gut punch to the small story I had fallen into.
I have suffered, deeply, and forgotten the truth that after all,only love and tenderness matters. No words can express… I wish I could hold your hand, as you held mine. Thank you!
“I hope you’ll have the audacity to bless your own humanity as holy rather than humiliating. When you feel internal pressure to suffer well or suffer strong, I hope you’ll let your storms strip away every last belief in self-sufficiency as the storyline of success. I hope you’ll let someone carry you home. “
Thank you for this. I’m dealing with emotional suffering that often feels physical and these words made me sigh in relief.
I am sad and angry that you are in so much pain everyday. I continue to pray for you and send love.
I will continue to subscribe here as long as you offer it, with or without posts to hold out hope and support for you.
My husband and I call it “false bottom syndrome” when we think we’ve hit rock bottom and then a trap door opens in the floor, sending us falling even further. Thanks for your writing (I only recently found your books and am currently reading two of them simultaneously), and I pray that God brings you to a more spacious place soon. 💚
KJ you are in my thoughts and prayers ever day. I wish there was something to ease this terrible storm. You validate that when your ill sometimes you just can't feel safe anymore or find yourself amidst the rubble. You are so loved if only that could bring you what you need. Thank you for this post amidst your suffering. Even now you find a way to reach and help us understand our own story
KJ - First, thank you! Praying for you & getting your surgeries in my calendar.
I am not a good writer, so just trying to write from my heart. I’ve had CRPS for 13 years, along with a few surgeries & about to turn 73. I have no idea what ‘real’ aging feels like. I thought I’d reached a plateau where it wouldn’t get worse, but facing new challenges this year.
I read This too Shall Last & honestly, it was the 1st book on Suffering that ever made me want to survive this. I’ve read everything you’ve written since, including
your Substack. This one came at another crisis time- and you put words on things I don’t know how to. And, so grateful for your honesty right now. And I face nothing as severe, but I appreciate how vulnerable you’re making yourself. How many authors have written about their joy in their suffering & I’d find myself in greater despair. My husband- well, I got a good one- took him a few years, he read
a lot of your book & now, cried along with me at your latest news. Love you & praying for best possible outcome for you.
Please keep telling us the truth & again, thank you for sharing your heart. It is truly needed. Bonnie
The sentence “I don’t have to suffer well to be loved” just wrecked me. How often I try to cloak my own pain in more socially acceptable garbs. Thank you for giving words that allow those of us who are hidden to be seen 😭. Praying for you and your recovery always.
Oh, KJ, I’m so sorry. It amazes me that you can write this much and articulate your thoughts and feelings so clearly in the midst of so much pain. Thank you for sharing what you can, when you can. I have been so blessed by your books and have shared them with many people who are suffering. They too have been blessed. I am happy to continue to support you financially and in prayer. May you find little pockets of peace in the midst of the anxiety that comes with waiting for surgery. ❤️
This brought me to tears. We've never met, KJ, but I am sending prayer and love your way. Thank you so much for your honesty; it is truly what I needed to read tonight. I feel seen and heard by your writing. Thank you.
Thank you for this KJ. Thank you for your raw honesty. The truth is, you’ve said what a lot of people feel too afraid to voice - thinking that they must be alone in these thoughts - and so this is powerful. I’m sure it feels the opposite, but rest assured, there is a lot of power in your words here.
This level of suffering feels cruel. I am weeping for you, although I cannot even begun to fathom what it’s like to experience this in your body. There are no words that do your pain justice. I’m so sorry KJ. I’m just so sorry.
Also: I am one of those people happy to subscribe just to support you, even if you don’t ever write another thing. Your writing has had an immeasurable impact on me, but first and foremost, you are a human and I care about you. Your output has nothing to do with how much you are worth being cared for. ❤️
“I don’t have to suffer well to be loved.” So true. I’ve fallen into this belief SO many times. Thank you for your words. Praying for you to continue to feel deeply loved and seen.
KJ I want you to know how much I wish away your fears and know you are in my heart today and everyday filled with prayers for this awful reality of this week. Praying that your recovery will go well and that you are held by the Lord. When you can't pray we will for you. Lament is holy. You are so loved🙏🙏
God, I love your honesty. You don’t owe us anything but I’m so grateful you’re still choosing to show up for us and for yourself in your writing. Especially grateful for you to name the whole Capitalistic angle on healing. Man. Spot-on.
I’s so sorry things SUCK right now. I hate this level of suffering for you. How debilitating. How nauseating (literally). It’s okay that you feel hopeless and over it and pissed. Let us hope for you. May you receive the gift of being loved and led and lightened by people who can carry you along. Much love to you. Grateful for your life all around.
Praying for you and just subscribed to say you aren’t alone. And what you write and feel in your suffering is profound. You are beautifully honest, and this is horribly unfair. I wish it wasn’t this way for you, but even in it, your words pierce my heart because I have been there, too, in my own illness. God bless you!! Keep holding on. You are loved. You are seen. You are held. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 Thank you for blessing us with your words.
KJ: Your honesty and truth is a much needed gut punch to the small story I had fallen into.
I have suffered, deeply, and forgotten the truth that after all,only love and tenderness matters. No words can express… I wish I could hold your hand, as you held mine. Thank you!
Remembering you today in this moment in time, with Love.
“I hope you’ll have the audacity to bless your own humanity as holy rather than humiliating. When you feel internal pressure to suffer well or suffer strong, I hope you’ll let your storms strip away every last belief in self-sufficiency as the storyline of success. I hope you’ll let someone carry you home. “
Thank you for this. I’m dealing with emotional suffering that often feels physical and these words made me sigh in relief.
I am sad and angry that you are in so much pain everyday. I continue to pray for you and send love.
I will continue to subscribe here as long as you offer it, with or without posts to hold out hope and support for you.
Amen to Lillian's comment. You are priceless.
My husband and I call it “false bottom syndrome” when we think we’ve hit rock bottom and then a trap door opens in the floor, sending us falling even further. Thanks for your writing (I only recently found your books and am currently reading two of them simultaneously), and I pray that God brings you to a more spacious place soon. 💚
KJ you are in my thoughts and prayers ever day. I wish there was something to ease this terrible storm. You validate that when your ill sometimes you just can't feel safe anymore or find yourself amidst the rubble. You are so loved if only that could bring you what you need. Thank you for this post amidst your suffering. Even now you find a way to reach and help us understand our own story
KJ - First, thank you! Praying for you & getting your surgeries in my calendar.
I am not a good writer, so just trying to write from my heart. I’ve had CRPS for 13 years, along with a few surgeries & about to turn 73. I have no idea what ‘real’ aging feels like. I thought I’d reached a plateau where it wouldn’t get worse, but facing new challenges this year.
I read This too Shall Last & honestly, it was the 1st book on Suffering that ever made me want to survive this. I’ve read everything you’ve written since, including
your Substack. This one came at another crisis time- and you put words on things I don’t know how to. And, so grateful for your honesty right now. And I face nothing as severe, but I appreciate how vulnerable you’re making yourself. How many authors have written about their joy in their suffering & I’d find myself in greater despair. My husband- well, I got a good one- took him a few years, he read
a lot of your book & now, cried along with me at your latest news. Love you & praying for best possible outcome for you.
Please keep telling us the truth & again, thank you for sharing your heart. It is truly needed. Bonnie
The sentence “I don’t have to suffer well to be loved” just wrecked me. How often I try to cloak my own pain in more socially acceptable garbs. Thank you for giving words that allow those of us who are hidden to be seen 😭. Praying for you and your recovery always.
Oh, KJ, I’m so sorry. It amazes me that you can write this much and articulate your thoughts and feelings so clearly in the midst of so much pain. Thank you for sharing what you can, when you can. I have been so blessed by your books and have shared them with many people who are suffering. They too have been blessed. I am happy to continue to support you financially and in prayer. May you find little pockets of peace in the midst of the anxiety that comes with waiting for surgery. ❤️
This brought me to tears. We've never met, KJ, but I am sending prayer and love your way. Thank you so much for your honesty; it is truly what I needed to read tonight. I feel seen and heard by your writing. Thank you.
Praying for you with every beat of my heart, KJ