Gratitude is the gentlest guide.

😭 thank you for holding us up through my medical crisis.

Dear Embodied Friends,

I’m here to say thank you. I’m also sharing a shorter version of this on IG, but I wanted to add a couple extra things for you, in this our smaller space. I’m sending this to the whole Embodied list, but paid subscribers are welcome to comment.

YOUR hospitality + generosity are holding me +

Ryan Ramsey

up in our Hardest Thing Yet™️.

(If you are like: what happened??? Read some of my recent IG Posts. 😬🙏🏼)

When some author friends—Jessica Turner,

Anjuli Paschall

, and Jennifer Dukes Lee reached out in the earlier days of our medical crisis wanting to start a fundraiser for us, I knew I needed to say yes, even though the yes was terrifyingly vulnerable—because the truth is, we need it.¹

🙏🏼 I am still so sick that sitting up to type this is really hard. But I want + *need* to give thanks. Ryan + I are overwhelmed, still shocked, + so strengthened by your gifts. So many of you gave and our goals were far exceeded. 😭🤯😭

We are just beginning to scratch the surface of what my Special Immune System™️ (Hey, SIS! 👋🏼) really needs to heal.

Between us here on substack—brand new info—there’s a strong possibility I will be having surgery asap (like even this week) to remove my brand new port, as a big probable step in stopping the firestorm of inflammation I am in. My body might be in full rejection of it, making so many other things go so very wrong.

I’ll need to be out of work for quite a long time + need in-home care, PT, etc. So far loved ones are stepping in on a rotation. 😭 We are still in the acute-trauma stage of my sudden medical crisis with my body’s needs still so big + shifting. (Whoa. Just realized it’s been two days shy of a month since I was first hospitalized.☹️💔 I’ve been in this wild health place for almost two whole months—counting needing to get a port. Wow.)

It’s become clearer daily that the road of my recovery really is a highway—we have so far to go, and you have filled our tank to drive far. Truly.😭

YOU have empowered ME to take the TIME to heal away from my work as a therapist.

You’ve expanded my capacity to heal

not primarily to be productive again

but to first and foremost honor support my personhood.

I’m floored that you would give my body + family the gift of support + space so that this trauma doesn’t have to trample every newly growing thing in our lives.

Thank you—both for holding us up + holding space for us to find our way down this weird, hard highway in a way that honors our bruised-up bodies AND honors how deeply kind + wildly generous you’ve been to us.

I know we’ll find our way, for you are showing me:

Gratitude is the gentlest, wisest guide.

Beyond grateful. beyond. 🙏🏼

And truly…one more thing: so many of us have been hurt by neglect, apathy, and downright ugly gaslighting in the church/among people of “faith.” I need you to know, I’ve never felt more loved and surrounded by the Beloved Community of Christ’s Body than in these days. Not by an institution but by the irrevocable kinship of kindness that connects you to me and me to you.

There is still a Body. She dwells where decay is unavoidable and dares to stare down death with courage and grit. She is hidden, but no less real than when I had a building to walk into.

There is still a Beloved community. There is still room for love and support and healing for me and for you.

—KJ (and

Ryan Ramsey

too 🫶🏼)

---

A few extra thoughts as I process this today…in the form of a flash poem(s).

Hopefully these are something someone needs to hear as well:

I’m in a season of inescapable interdependence.

I am standing up for my very ill body

and giving her radical rest.

I am imagining—through your kindness—

a world where doing hard things

means doing them together.

Self-sufficiency has always been

a shame-maker and body-breaker.

My body’s just backing up here like a bus

next to you in the parking lot of your problems—

beeping out a bittersweet but better story:

To be human

is to be held,

and we belong

in beloved community

no matter what

has happened to us,

who we are,

or whether we have

enough internal hope

to lift the heavy

and holy weight

of being

alive.

We say yes to our lives

in a chorus.

The silence of sickness

and society’s demands

are no match for the song

being seen and support.

You don’t have to sing a solo.

1. If the fundraiser is new news to you and you really want to be able to give, folks gave via my Venmo: @kjramseywrites or Paypal (international folks especially). You all provided so much for us. It’s humbling and hard to accept. And, I won’t refuse gifts anyone feels prompted to give. Someday, I can’t wait to be the person dropping dollars on Venmo for some of you.😭🙏🏼