PS in case it wasn’t clear, the paid subscription gets you *extra, exclusive content*, but my free posts like this will still be available to everyone!
I have SO many words, but now, I don’t know if I can write them because I’m so blown away by your words. Not, Holy Spirit blown away, even though I know that I can relate to so much of your story in different ways. It’s more like, Holy S*&& kind of way. (Sorry, I still can’t write out the words because I’m old, and some things don’t change when it comes to writing, I just think ‘em.)
Thankfully, I have not had the same kind of religious trauma you have had, but after nearly sixteen years in a cult and then going right back into the same type of patriarchy I was raised in has caused me to question (really deeply) why I chose to turn off my brain, and my even my deep held spiritual beliefs on just about everything in life and religion, when I went back into the Presbyterian ways I had been raised. Yep, I joined a PCA church and stayed there for forty years! (Never really embracing much of it. I often felt I was looking for Jesus there, and His love, without much success.) Give me a bit of slack though because I never bought a book by John Piper, nor did I ever read or even listened to him.
It gave me a bit of smugness to place the carnation I got at the Episcopalian church on Mother’s Day on my mother’s grave. I didn’t intend to, but it was still in my hand when I visited her grave, and I decided it was good to tell her, even though I knew she would not approve of it, that I was on a new spiritual path.
This is way too long, but I just want you to know, I get so much of what you are writing. I look forward to all that you will share with us.
"Because we don’t do that also meant: there is one truth, one meaning of Scripture, and one right way to live, and it for sure looks like us." 🔥 THIS. While you were being told this "over there" I was being told the exact same thing in a fundamental conservative environment. How ironic. Thank you for sharing your beautiful words today. The redemption of ashes to bring new life & sweet fruit is such a beautiful picture I'm going to carry with me for awhile.
“I do not claim to know what Love is doing in my life, but I have felt the flame and withstood the wind and all I know is that I now speak a language no one taught me but everyone can hear, as though in their own native tongue.”
Oh my… yes, this is a gorgeous word picture of the healing I’ve been experiencing in my life. I don’t know the purpose or where it is leading but it is connecting me more deeply with Jesus, myself and others.
I’m still in the “shock” of leaving toxicity, but wow, does your sharing here give me so much hope. So. MUCH. Thanks for sharing, thanks for writing, and thanks for burning a Piper book to uses as ashes. So brilliant.
Wow, just wow. Thank you for your writing. It’s exactly what I needed this morning albeit late - it’s June 3rd!
This one hit me good.
I do not claim to know what Love is doing in my life, but I have felt the flame and withstood the wind and all I know is that I now speak a language no one taught me but everyone can hear, as though in their own native tongue.
It took me about 1 second to hit that subscribe button. You and your writing are GOLD. I so appreciate you. Thank you for being a safe place in your words to start to find my footing again. And that's even more important because I only have one, if you don't count my 2 crutches... which I usually do. I'm very trinitarian in that regard. 😉
Hi KJ! I have to say, you are one of the most beautiful, genuine writers I've come across in a long time(and I read a LOT), and have been SO encouraged by your honest words. I finished The Lord is my Courage a couple weeks ago and oh wow... I'm so very sorry for all you and your husband went through in that church. Truly awful because it happens anywhere, and it has to break God's heart. It's such the opposite of how the church is supposed to be.
I'm in the middle of This Too Shall Last, and it will be highly recommended to everyone I know because it's an incredibly important topic that so many want to avoid. Thank you so much for your transparency and kindness in your writing....it's such a blessing to so many! I'm curious to know about the John Piper book. I've only read bits and pieces of his writing over the years, but always want to know if well known Bible teachers have gone (or are in the process of going) the wrong way.
Many blessings to you and congrats on your new home!
“what God is doing in you is none of your business” —that quote has stuck with me since hearing her say that last week. I find myself contemplating it, and then resting in the release/surrender it offers.
KJ, it gladdens me to read that "your feet are lighter and your heart no longer needs a shield to keep you safe!"
Your words deeply touched me, as I think on my own journey, my catholic childhood, with all the neatly pressed church events and traditions. While there are some which guided me and led me to" salvation," others made me always question, especially in the teen years. The questioning was good! Also part of the journey towards truth. Of course, it was looked at as rebellion. All people stuff. The Spirit stuff was happening inside! Unseen. Gradual. Journeying as life went on.
What might some of the questions be, that you ask yourself, to explore those "good things?" I would be very interested in these as they would help me dig up some of my own good things, those that indeed lead me to true salvation, handing my life over to Jesus. I did not speak the "formula," as required by the American church. I don't have a "salvation date," or event. It all happened in my teen years, as I look back on my life. This is looked upon as not real. "you must have a specific moment and words when this happened" 🙄😢
PS in case it wasn’t clear, the paid subscription gets you *extra, exclusive content*, but my free posts like this will still be available to everyone!
So so beautiful!! I also am kind of dying to know... which Piper book...? 👀👀
I have SO many words, but now, I don’t know if I can write them because I’m so blown away by your words. Not, Holy Spirit blown away, even though I know that I can relate to so much of your story in different ways. It’s more like, Holy S*&& kind of way. (Sorry, I still can’t write out the words because I’m old, and some things don’t change when it comes to writing, I just think ‘em.)
Thankfully, I have not had the same kind of religious trauma you have had, but after nearly sixteen years in a cult and then going right back into the same type of patriarchy I was raised in has caused me to question (really deeply) why I chose to turn off my brain, and my even my deep held spiritual beliefs on just about everything in life and religion, when I went back into the Presbyterian ways I had been raised. Yep, I joined a PCA church and stayed there for forty years! (Never really embracing much of it. I often felt I was looking for Jesus there, and His love, without much success.) Give me a bit of slack though because I never bought a book by John Piper, nor did I ever read or even listened to him.
It gave me a bit of smugness to place the carnation I got at the Episcopalian church on Mother’s Day on my mother’s grave. I didn’t intend to, but it was still in my hand when I visited her grave, and I decided it was good to tell her, even though I knew she would not approve of it, that I was on a new spiritual path.
This is way too long, but I just want you to know, I get so much of what you are writing. I look forward to all that you will share with us.
"Because we don’t do that also meant: there is one truth, one meaning of Scripture, and one right way to live, and it for sure looks like us." 🔥 THIS. While you were being told this "over there" I was being told the exact same thing in a fundamental conservative environment. How ironic. Thank you for sharing your beautiful words today. The redemption of ashes to bring new life & sweet fruit is such a beautiful picture I'm going to carry with me for awhile.
Kj, you put to words what my soul longs to speak. Thank you. You are a gift.
I just had a chance to read this - beautiful.
“I do not claim to know what Love is doing in my life, but I have felt the flame and withstood the wind and all I know is that I now speak a language no one taught me but everyone can hear, as though in their own native tongue.”
Oh my… yes, this is a gorgeous word picture of the healing I’ve been experiencing in my life. I don’t know the purpose or where it is leading but it is connecting me more deeply with Jesus, myself and others.
Also - subscribed immediately! ❤️
I’m still in the “shock” of leaving toxicity, but wow, does your sharing here give me so much hope. So. MUCH. Thanks for sharing, thanks for writing, and thanks for burning a Piper book to uses as ashes. So brilliant.
Wow, just wow. Thank you for your writing. It’s exactly what I needed this morning albeit late - it’s June 3rd!
This one hit me good.
I do not claim to know what Love is doing in my life, but I have felt the flame and withstood the wind and all I know is that I now speak a language no one taught me but everyone can hear, as though in their own native tongue.
It took me about 1 second to hit that subscribe button. You and your writing are GOLD. I so appreciate you. Thank you for being a safe place in your words to start to find my footing again. And that's even more important because I only have one, if you don't count my 2 crutches... which I usually do. I'm very trinitarian in that regard. 😉
“You don’t have to understand the unfolding of your new beginning to welcome it with wonder.“ whewwww
Love this. So much. Gosh. Your writing and processing and way of sharing inspires me. Every time.
P.S. Yep. Imagine having belonged to John Piper's church......
Hi KJ! I have to say, you are one of the most beautiful, genuine writers I've come across in a long time(and I read a LOT), and have been SO encouraged by your honest words. I finished The Lord is my Courage a couple weeks ago and oh wow... I'm so very sorry for all you and your husband went through in that church. Truly awful because it happens anywhere, and it has to break God's heart. It's such the opposite of how the church is supposed to be.
I'm in the middle of This Too Shall Last, and it will be highly recommended to everyone I know because it's an incredibly important topic that so many want to avoid. Thank you so much for your transparency and kindness in your writing....it's such a blessing to so many! I'm curious to know about the John Piper book. I've only read bits and pieces of his writing over the years, but always want to know if well known Bible teachers have gone (or are in the process of going) the wrong way.
Many blessings to you and congrats on your new home!
“what God is doing in you is none of your business” —that quote has stuck with me since hearing her say that last week. I find myself contemplating it, and then resting in the release/surrender it offers.
✨"You don’t have to understand the unfolding of your new beginning to welcome it with wonder." ✨
Holding onto this today. Your words are such a balm and always, always come at the right time for me. Thank you.
KJ, it gladdens me to read that "your feet are lighter and your heart no longer needs a shield to keep you safe!"
Your words deeply touched me, as I think on my own journey, my catholic childhood, with all the neatly pressed church events and traditions. While there are some which guided me and led me to" salvation," others made me always question, especially in the teen years. The questioning was good! Also part of the journey towards truth. Of course, it was looked at as rebellion. All people stuff. The Spirit stuff was happening inside! Unseen. Gradual. Journeying as life went on.
What might some of the questions be, that you ask yourself, to explore those "good things?" I would be very interested in these as they would help me dig up some of my own good things, those that indeed lead me to true salvation, handing my life over to Jesus. I did not speak the "formula," as required by the American church. I don't have a "salvation date," or event. It all happened in my teen years, as I look back on my life. This is looked upon as not real. "you must have a specific moment and words when this happened" 🙄😢
you are a delight to The Body <3